


No Pants? No, Pants!

by killuazcldyck



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, I don't even know I'm so sorry, M/M, What Have I Done, i don't know what this is, look they're gay I'm sorry, mild sex talk, stares @ TanaNoya's ambiguous af relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 10:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7529362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killuazcldyck/pseuds/killuazcldyck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saeko's dating someone and Ryuu isn't really sure how to feel about the whole thing, tbh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Pants? No, Pants!

**Author's Note:**

> Look it's 1am and I have no idea what is happening. This fill was for DW user tsunderekita, who asked for the prompt between the Tanaka siblings:
> 
> "My pants kept saying, 'Take me off!' and I was like, 'No, pants!'"  
> \- Two Broke Girls. 
> 
> I'm so sorry about this. I just. *hides*

Ryuu is a hundred percent certain that he has never in his life invited Tsukishima over to his house. Never. So when he opens the front door and sees the tall, blonde guy leaning over the kitchen counter and is undoubtedly making out with Saeko, he (understandably) loses his shit.

“Dude, what the fuck?!” Ryuu takes two giant steps towards the kitchen counter and forces Tsukishima to swivel around. It’s only when he looks at the guy’s face that Ryuu realises that he is not, in fact, Tsukishima Kei - he just looks an awful lot like him.

Saeko drags his brother away and blushes furiously. “Ryuu! You can’t just _do_ that to strangers, for fuck’s sake!”

Ryuu only feels slightly guilty as the Tsukishima doppëlganger peeks his head from kitchen. “I thought … I thought it was Tsukishima …” mumbles Ryuu.

Saeko exhales in frustration and glares at him. “ _Jesus_ , Ryuu! What’s it to you who I date? It’s Tsukishima’s brother, if you _must_ know. Akiteru and I have been dating for a couple of months now and --”

“A couple of months?!” repeats Ryuu in shock. His sister had been hiding something so big from him for _two whole months?_

“Yes, a couple of months!” Saeko snaps angrily. “He’s sweet, funny, and fucking gorgeous! On top of that, I happen to really like him.”

There’s an awkward silence between them now, and Ryuu isn’t quite sure what else to say. Akiteru walks over and when Ryuu takes a good look at him, he realises there are some distinct differences between him and his brother. Akiteru’s a little shorter than his younger brother, doesn’t wear glasses, and his eyes seem a little softer and rounder than Kei’s, which make him look kinder.

“Sorry,” is all Ryuu can say at this point. Akiteru waves it off and smiles.

“Nah, it’s no problem. Saeko’s lucky to have such a protective brother,” Akiteru tells him as he grabs his coat. “I should head back home now anyway … but Tanaka-kun,” Ryuu registers the formal use of his surname, “I want to let you know that I really like Saeko too. I hope you’ll give us your blessing.”

Ryuu looks from Akiteru to Saeko, who has her arm plastered around her boyfriend, giving Ryuu puppy-eyes. He sighs deeply, as though he’s contemplating a deep and philosophical thought about life. “You can have my blessing,” he starts in a menacing tone as he steps closer to Akiteru, locking eyes with him. “But I swear on my life and _your brother’s life_ , I will _end_ you if you hurt her.” Akiteru gulps and nods once.

“U-understood!”

Saeko interrupts them and pushes Akiteru out the door. “I’m sorry baby, I’ll call you later!” she embraces Akiteru and kisses him on the mouth right in front of Ryuu, as if out of spite. When Akiteru leaves, she slams the door shut and glares at Ryuu. “Well?!”

“I’m sorry,” Ryuu deflates. He knows Saeko is perfectly entitled to kiss whomever she wants, and he really has no say in it. It was a spur of the moment thing, and seeing his kouhai aggressively make out with his older sister did not sit too well with him.

 

* * *

 

Noya’s stupid dare of getting him to drink four cups of coffee before bed so that he would “stay the fuck awake and play Overwatch” wakes Ryuu up from a power-nap in the middle of the night. Ignoring Noya stirring beside him, he hobbles to the bathroom in a desperate attempt to pee. That’s when he hears _them_ from Saeko’s bedroom.

“Akiteru …” whimpers Saeko softly, and Ryuu reddens immediately, having overheard something he definitely wasn’t supposed to be hearing. “Just wait a bit … I don’t even know if everyone’s asleep yet,” murmurs Saeko. No longer feeling the need to pee, Ryuu walks back to his bedroom as quietly as he can and sits down on his bed, waking Noya up in the process.

“Dude what the fu --” grumbles Noya, but stops when he sees Ryuu reach over for the Playstation console and turns up the volume. “Cool! Are we playing more?” Ryuu nods in response, not trusting himself to open his mouth lest he say something he would later regret.

Soon enough, Saeko storms into Ryuu’s room some fifteen minutes later, hair messy and looking tired. “Guys? Do you mind turning it down a little?” Ryuu flat-out ignores her, but Noya bursts into laughter.

“C’mon, Nee-san! We _know_ what you’re doing in your room with Tsukishima’s bro --” Noya starts before Saeko lets out a squawk and runs over to him, putting her hand over his mouth.

“ _Yuu!_ Shh,” Saeko whispers, looking flushed.

“So … have you … done It?” asks Noya, wiggling his eyebrows. Ryuu picks at his fingernails, really wishing that he could disappear right now. He feels as though he is caught up in the midst of one of those deep and meaningful sleepover discussions between his sister and best friend.

“If … if you must know, we haven’t! He’s so hot, though …” groans Saeko, as if that makes everything okay.

“He is,” agrees Noya, ignoring Ryuu’s raised eyebrow.

“It’s like,” Saeko gushes, suddenly comfortable gushing about her sex life for no apparent reason, “My pants kept saying, ‘ _Take me off_ ’ and I was like ‘ _No, pants!_ ’, you know?” Noya chortles, although Ryuu is determined to remain stony-faced, which is proving more and more difficult.

“I know, Nee-san! I feel that with Ryuu all the time!” Saeko shrieks and Ryuu stiffens as Noya continues to laugh as though he’s just said the funniest joke of all-time. “I’m _kidding_ , obviously,” Noya says a little too quickly. Saeko ruffles his hair and gives her brother an affectionate noogie and stands up.

“Goodnight, kids. No naughty stuff, on either of our ends. Sweet deal, yeah?”

Noya nods and Ryuu flips her off as she walks out. Ryuu being Ryuu, does the first thing that comes to mind after being left a second too late in this suddenly tension-filled room with Noya.

“‘ _No pants_ ’, hey?” asks Ryuu, giving Noya A Look. And Noya being Noya, does what he does best with a retaliating batting of his eyelashes.

“Only if you wanna,” he shrugs with a wicked grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me on twitter: [@killuazcldyck_](http://twitter.com/killuazcldyck_)


End file.
